Happy Hour and Awkward

Yesterday was a pretty good day---I have to say. I practically wrote about the day in yesterday's entry anyway, nothing particularly exciting happened.

I did end up going to happy hour after work, even though I was still undecided on whether or not I actually wanted to go since I had to pack for Boston, get a key made for Mike, pick up my prescription, generally clean, do MLW stuff, and do other stuff. But, I easily succumb to peer pressure. The simple phrase, "Lauren, you're coming." ended up being my deciding factor with me. We headed over to Redemption. Which is a fun bar on 2nd Ave. Had me a few Tanquerray and tonics---it was so clutch though cause we were sitting outside at first and it was nice--then it started to TORRENTIALLY rain and they put up the awning or whatever and we were protected. It was really cool---we were just straight chillin' and hanging out. We had a cool crew there--made some new friends. So---I was ready to go home, I was sort of wet, and tired and had to pack and clean and everything. But again---I was convinced to go over to Bobby Van's to hang with some of the managers who hI walked in though---it was a different story, here are all the people I was with:

1. my really cool manager---who is also captain of my softball team: cool
2. the woman who hired me---good relationship, though weird to be drinking with her: weird
3. the girl i wrote about yesterday that i think hates me: uncool
4. another girl who i sort of don't know how i feel about/generally standoffish/i think hates me: uncool
5. my friend jon: cool
6. bernadette, jo, and paolo: cool

You may think that most of the people there are cool. You would be right. But it was the combination of those people that made me want to leave as soon as I walked in. It was so awkward. And the funny thing is that I really don't get awkward in very many sitiations. So you can imagine how I must have felt.

I had bought an Adidas sports bag earlier that day for my gymnastics and swimming jaunts, the backpack that I had been using was pretty much shot---I had to carry the stupid bag around to the bar but I left it on the floor at our table at the first bar. It was soaking wet from the hurricane that came through NYC. By the stroke of God, I remembered that I forgot my bag as SOON as I got into that awkward situation at Bobby Vans. I made a clean exit. Bernadette warned me to come back---b/c I think she knew that I would not want to. The thing is, if I hadn't actually had an excuse to not go back----I probably would have, despite the awkwardness.

Then, Lindsay and Mike saved me. They called from the cab about coming uptown to meet me so Mike could drop his stuff off. I was clear. I called B and left her a msg about the situation, called Timmy and cried about how I thought B was going to be pissed at me for not coming back and then---all was well.

I got home, Mike dropped off his ginormous suitcase and then I went to Better Burger to chow. Then I went home and passed out. Things I did not do:

1. Pack for Boston
2. make a key for Mike
3. pick up my prescription
4. generally clean
5. do MLW stuff
6. do other stuff

I woke up butt early* and packed---who knows the things I probably forgot. I think I may be ok, but whatever...I was a bit of a disaster and about apx. 10 minutes late for work as a result of this early morning** packing.

Man! There are two baby twin girls in my office right now---a lady just had them. They are so friggin' cute. One problem from when people bring cute kids into the office, especially babies--is that I want to steal them away. Oh, now one is crying. Nevermind.

People, I am signing off for a while---as I'm going to Boston until Tuesday night so there will be likely no posts until Wednesday when I return. Try and hold back your sadness. If you want to talk to me---call! Unless you are someone I don't know or don't like, then please don't call. You don't have my number anyway.

Love,
Lauren

*normal time
**again, normal time I wake up/get ready

Cuilacoche and Casey

Ah---the quote of the day just happened---

We are talking about cuitlacoche at work---something we do often. And we are all talking about things we would eat and things we wouldn't eat. This conversation was actually stemmed by a conversation about rice pudding and how much I hate pudding-consitency thing---such a rice pudding/pudding/jello/bread pudding, you get the idea. ANYWAY---my boss claims that he'll eat a lot of gross things, like cow stomach and "lamb face" but that he won't even try cuitlacoche. This is what he said---

"You know, I have no problems eating like tripe, or stomach or whatever, but I'm not going to eat something out of a can that looks like the black lung out of a autopsy patient."

SO--there you have it people.

There is something I have to confess on this blog---I have a crush on Casey. I won't say his last name but everyone who knows Casey, knows who I'm talking about. Yep, I know he's like a TON younger than me. But I have to put it out there---a harmless crush. He doesn't read this blog---it's ok. I'm sure the MLW gossip tree will sprout his way. *sigh* That was a bit of juice for you.

Today has been pretty busy. I'm supposed to go to happy hour with co-workers but I have like a BILLION things to do---errands to run and everything. We'll see. I also wanted to go to the gym.

Something annoying happened at work just now that wasn't funny or cute or awesome. I am really frustrated right now. UH---

Hope everyone has great Thursday's

Love,
Lauren

Gymnastics and Muscles

I HATE BLOGGER.COM---they always "lose" my entires and then I have to re-type all my witty and funny commentary. I had this WHOLE thing written out about my gymnastics class that I went to---and now I have to re-type it. I don't really want to retype it at all. This is so frustrating.

Are you ever intimidated by certain people? Or like supposedly came off a wrong way to them at one point, and you know they made a judgement about you based off of that and now realize they can't shake it? This has just happened to me. There is this woman at work---who was in charge of "training" me. Honestly she didn't really do that good of a job. She's really good about passing the buck too---like, if I ask her how to do something, she tells me to ask someone else. It's really annoying. Well---for whatever reason, she doesn't like me. I just am not "cool" enough for her or something. She always acts to fake to me. Normally I wouldn't care. Except there is a girl i'm pretty good friends with that is like SUPER tight with her---like, introcduced her to her current boyfriend tight---and that is weird. I just don't like her. She rubs me the wrong way and she treats me like I'm stupid. I hate that. I'm frustrated cause she gave me attitude b/c we ran into each other in the bathroom when we were both opening the door at the same time. She got a little attitude with me. Sorry....

Today at work is really busy to----I have all these meetings today and just a bunch of stuff to do and I just got my period and I'm cranky. I'm also so flipping sore from my gymnastics class I took on Monday night. I need to explain a bit about that class actually since I didn't post yesterday.

Gymnastics Class:
What an adventure. I saw that at the Chelsea Piers they offer Adult gymnastics classes and so I thought I'd go and do a trial one---I'd done it as a kid and always loved it---so I could try one class right? I took care to read all the different levels and descriptions and figured that I would be in the intermediate class. I headed down there after work. I got there a little bit early so I saw all the kids on the real team practicing. It totally took me back and was great to watch and wish that I could still do some of those skills.

The class started and there were about 4 girls, and the rest guys, about 15 in total. All of the guys were generally good. But mostly the thing that I noticed about them was their lack of fear when it came to trying new things. I am not a chicken, but there are things that I'm generally scared to do without a spot. At least at this level right now. It was the flipping first day. Then we did like warm up activities and everything. This included, but was not limited to: front rolls, back rolls, handstands, cartwheels, roundoffs, walking handstands*, back extention rolls*, and general jumping and stuff. I could really not do some of those things. So, like a total wimp, after a few attempts at the skills, clearly realizing I couldn't do them---I just walked the rest of the way across the floor.

Then we started off on front tumbling. I pretty much thought that I would be able to go at my own pace and until I was comfortable with what we were doing, with a spot, or whatever, would I then try the skill on my own. OK, so the coaches are these two jacked gumnasts, who I have to say, are quite cute.--Randy and Billy. Billy was like---"suck it up Lauren, do the front handspring!" So, thus began my insane session of doing flips and stuff that I hadn't done since I was appx. 12. That is 10 years ago people. Then came front flips, and then front walkovers, and the combinations of the two/three. I was soaring through them. I still needed a spot for the front tuck though. I'm getting there.

Then came back tumbling, I knew I was going to start being real chicken about this stuff. So, we did like roundoffs and everything. Then, I did a backhandspring with a spot. I was sort of crappy at the roundoff back-handspring pass. I will get it next week for sure. Anyway---there is this girl there---Donna. She is the epitome of a loser. SHe came in on rollerblades and then started jabbering on about how she's done this for three years and how great she is but how she has "psychological problems" when it comes to needing spots on skills she can do already without them. I was like, "uh-huh, yeah." And so---then she gets out there---totally trying to show off all the shit she can do. One problem is that she has the worst form ever. So, yeah, she can totally "do" more skills than me, but 1. it was my first day and 2. she is stupid, and 3. she was doing it badly. I give myself about a month to whip up into shape.

Now to the Aftermath---
The next morning I couldn't move. I couldn't walk. I couldn't breathe/laugh/chuckle or do anything requiring my stomach muscles. My upper back was hurting. I was walking around like an old person. I wished I had a cane like Derryck. It was so horrible. I vowed that I would never do gymnastics again. I had never been so sore in my entire life. Yesterday was almost worse. It was horrific. But---I'm going back next week. Don't worry!

My bank sent me one of those "blink" cards. You know, the ones where in some places you can like just "flash" it in front of this pad thingie and it gets charged. It's cool. But it's a debit card. I was skeptical about it at first, but I had no choice, they send me new cards all the time, like once every three months, I guess they are trying to protect against identity theft or something. I'm happy with this.


Love,
Lauren

**again, this was retroactive, b/c I finished the last part of the entry on Thursday, not Wednesday.

Rug Burn and Taste Test

FYI---my rug burn from saturday is so nasty. It's still all sticky and gross and I wore jeans yesterday and all the jeans fuzz got in it and it looked like shit. Oh, and it hurts and I went down to the health center to get a band aid and***

Guess who was on my flight home? Yeah, Houran. Houran. It was so strange. I never really thought that I'd see her while I living in NY. But I did. We avoided each other. Honestly, I didn't see her until right before we were boarding. I was praying that we didn't sit next to each other or something horrible like that. It would have been the most awkward thing ever.

So I promised you all that I'd try TaB Energy drink and report back. I was at work, picking up something from my friend's desk and she had a can on her desk. It was unopened and I asked her how it tasted---she said she prefers red bull and wouldn't try it. I told her I wanted to try it, and I explained a bit of my previous experiment and so she gave it to me. Please read on...

A few things on this:
1. It's pink, which one would think I would like----but it's the only way they can get people to drink it,
2. this is supposed to be marketed toward women? It should be marketed to people like Hellen Keller, with minimal senses. Particularly in the smelling/tasting range.
3. Let me try and describe the taste: it's a carbonated, "light" tasting drink with strong elements of dimetap and day quill liquid mixed in. Yum.... Basically it's like poison and acid mixed together with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
4. Whatever you do---do not drink this rancid liquid.
5. The slogan should be, "JUST SAY NO TO TAB ENERGY DRINK!"


***anyway---it's still gross although I'm not wearing a band-aid today b/c i'm trying to let it "breathe" but my co-worker told me that if the edges get red and puffy then I should go and get some more medicine or something. But for now it's fine...:)

Hasta luego amigos,
Lauren

p.s this was another part retro-active post. I kept starting them and then not finishing them.

Softball and MLW

Well---I have wonderful news. My softball team won their inagural 2006 Season game. It was a blow out. Let me explain:
We get to the field and were really early, so we were throwing/catching, and then we had a bit of batting practice. It was great. I broke in my cleats. I also HAVE to say that our jerseys are really cool. Mine got really dirty last night. I am taking really gross laundry home to wash. Like----narsty sweaty and dirty clothes and things. Ick.

I conside myself a fairly athletic person right? Well I want to enlighted everyone to how I'm feeling right now in terms of my body. There are reasons for all the different pain. Read on:

From Bowling on Tuesday: a really achy right forearm and wrist though it has subsided quite a bit since then.
From the Corporate Challenge: EXTREMELY sore groin from all the hills in Central Park and also where my leg connects to my body.
From the softball game: my left forearm has a bruise b/c I caught this like low line drive and it didn't quite make it into my glove, instead---it hit my arm. Yesterday you could see the stiches from the ball. Ouch. My biceps a little bit. And my head from my hangover.

Thanks to whomever facilitated the return of my "Norway Jose" shirt. I got it in the mail yesterday and I'm very happy about it. I missed it. I think it was Charlie and thanks.

MLW weekend is going to be crazy----I'm already overwhelmed. I leave tonight on the flight.***

*** Ok---technically, I'm editing this after the fact so I can fill you in on what happened---
Of course I'm rushing around trying to make it to the airport on time and everything only to find that the flight is delayed. I knew this was going to potentially a problem because it is EVERY effing time I go. So---the planes hadn't even left boston to come down to NYC yet. My original 8pm flight left at 10:30. I got home SO late and was SOOOOOOO grumpy, if you can even imagine. I had a mini-breakdown at the airport. It was just a disaster.

Actually the staff day went well. I usually tend to dread them---just b/c often I get overwhelmed by what's due and everything. But it went really well I thought. Oh, but i did get really bad rug burn from playing steal the bacon poker.

On Saturday night I hung out with Jaxx and AB until like 5am, totally shooting the shit. It was insane, but a quality time. :) I love those girls. Sunday was awful and pouring and then our tunderstorming and everything. I slept in an it was glorious. Our electricity went off for a while and that sucked, but i wasn't really doing anything, just like pretty much sleeping. Also---I decided to take an earlier flight home to avoid delays which ended up being a smart choice since DC had crazy flooding the rest of the night.

There is another retroactive posting coming up.

Happy Belated Friday!
Love,
Lauren

Running and Dream

On Tuesday night I had a Children's Aid Society event---it was a "thank-you" event for the volunteers. It was bowling. I have come to the realization that I SUCK at bowling. I consider myself a relatively athletic person, so thinking about a "sport" that I SUCK at, is unnerving. My forearm is pretty sore, even today, two days later. I"m just all busted up.

Last night was the Chase Corporate Challenge, this huge 30,000 person race in Central Park. It was 3.5 miles. I did OK. I don't run raced often/ever----so it was a good experience. I walked home to stretch out my muscles after the race and went home----I was SOOOOO tired. I passed out at 10. I didn't sleep well in my room b/c it was so hot. I went to go sleep on the couch and totally was out in like 2 miliseconds---then at 3am I woke up and went back to my bed, realized the reason I was so hot was b/c the fan was pointing in the wrong directon and not into my room. So---I'm just feeling generally sleep deprived and tired. I also just have so much stuff to do.

I had a really strange dream last night. I dreamt that I had to go back to Eastern to play in this honors band thing---Beth went with me, even though she didn't go to Eastern. Mr. McIntyre was the band teacher, just like when I was there and I had to go to the band room and get my instrument. Kevin Wiseman was there with other kids from his year, like Aniel and Some other kid that in the dream was SO familiar and now I can't remember ANYTHING about him. They were just the sort of people that Kevin would have been friends with in middle school. Eva was also there. She had found this table that we both graffitied on---and it was still there. Then I had to go to band practice. And---I went into the classroom but I remembered I had forgotten my flute. I had to use one of the school flutes and it was gross. Then I woke up.

So the US just lost to Ghana. Sorry guys, it was a good fight. My favorite part of World Cup games is when at the end all of the players take off their shirts and show off their HOT abs.

I've been really busy. Sorry for the lack of postings.

Softball game tonight---no rain---no reschedule. :)

Have a great rest of the day everyone!

xo,
Lauren

Feelings about Fat People

I hate to be superficial but...why do people wear clothes that are too tight for them. Like, what goes through their mind when they look in the mirror in the morning--

Hmmm...I love the way this tank top clings to all my disgusting fat rolls. I love how my skirt rides up in the back because my ass is too big. I also love that the tank top is short and only comes to the top of my skirt so it makes me look short waisted and fatter than I already am. It makes me look great and really appropriate for work.

Seriously. It's not even about "being proud" of your body. It's about looking appropriate. Am I as skinny as Kate Moss? No, but I do take care to not wear clothes that make me look like an Orca. I hate the fat revolution. I hate that fat is in---or whatever. If you are a bit overweight, cool---if you are exercising and taking care of yourself---that's fantastic. I'm not going to fault you for that. But when you are a fat b/c you don't care about anything and eat a lot and aren't taking care of your body----that is NOT cool. You know, eventually those people are going to die out and natural selection will set in. These people aren't going to survive.

Food is glorious. It is amazing how many wonderful flavours come out of the kitchen. I myself could never be anorexic. Why don't more people think, "everything in moderation"? Our nation breeds laziness and apathy. The fast food generation is repulsive. Everything is made as easy as possible. Everything can be delivered. No one is required to do anything physical anymore.

News flash: Those shows about fat people and Oprah talking about fat people and losing weight, don't do jack shit for the general public. In fact, they probably do a disservice to obese people. They rationalize those shows by being like, "Oh well...I'm not so fat that they have to cut a wall down out of my house to get me outside..." It's like encouraging that they aren't the worst of the worst.

I have fat issues. I know I do and I'm sorry for this raid as it's not really witty or funny. It's probably offensive to some people. But, this is my blog. This entry is harsh. But...it's a harsh world.

Happy Tuesday,
Lauren

Ukraine/WC and Emily

I hope Ukraine gets CRUSHED by Saudi Arabia. I hate Ukraine. They are up 2-0 right now and the Saudi's are not giving that great of a performance. Boo----Ukraine. Uh, they won. I hate Ukraine.

So speaking of Ukraine, I found Dave's myspace page this weekend. It was weird. I mean, I knew he is getting married and all that stuff. I saw pictures of Marie, this infamous woman that i got dumped for---I am clearly cuter and that made me feel happy. It's funny how that works, when girls find out that they are cuter than the girl they got replaced by---they are happy about it, even though she is exactly what at one point you were/want to be. Somehow being cuter justifies everything, even if you were dumped. :) Whatever, at this point in history, I'm totally OK with him getting married. I mean, I hope that he ends up happy with her. Even though he hurt me and was/is an asshole, I don't want bad things to happen to him. I think that one day, he'll realize how mean and selfish he is and how he treats people in his life like pawns or characters in a book called "The Romantic Hemmingwayesque Life of Dave".

This blog entry has a lot of potential for today but I have so much work to do---so I can't really take the time---or else I won't post at all. I'm sorry if it is sub-par.

Funny advice for the day: I was reading the "ask Amy" section of the Washington Post. And I found a gem---please read on...

Dear Amy:
Responding to the letter from the person who worked in a pet shop and served as an unintended babysitter for youngsters whose parents would drop them off -- this shop needs a sign like the one in our local grocery store, which is quite appropriate for the pet shop:

"Children not under adult supervision will be given an espresso and a free puppy."


I had a great weekend with Emily who came up to visit. We went to a comedy show with Jess on Friday night. All the comics were really funny except for the last guy. He was replusive. He kept making sexual comments and "jokes" but they weren't funny and they made me want to wretch all over the table. I was like debating on yelling out loud, "Please stop, you are hurting my ears and brain."

Saturday morning Emily and I went out to breakfast at the diner by my house. Then we bought a much needed air conditioner for my apartment. That was a bit of a disaster. It took us like an hour, at least, to install it. One would think that it is easy to install a window unit in ones apartment but it takes patience and a lot of direction reading. We finally conquered it and now my living/kitchen is wonderful. I thought that this unit would be enough to cool the entire apartment but after experiencing last night in the hear and now realize that is an incorrect assessment. I have to buy another one for my bedroom. The fan in the window does jack shit except spread around the hot and humid outside air. So---that is my next project for when I have time, like, never.

Then we showered and headed downtown to meet some of my co-workers and Jessica at Buster's Garage to watch the USA vs. Italy game. It was a really good game. There were so many people wanting to get inside the bar that we had to go updown to this like weird sort of WT bar, but it was cool and cheap, to watch the rest of the game. Then Jess went home and Emily and I began the walk back to my house. We went into Time Warner center and sauntered into Sephora. I bought a new scent and I'm really excited about it---it smells wonderful. Then I was like, "Do you want to ask the dude to give us a makeover?" and so Emily asked Lamar, the gay brilliant makeup artist, to show me how to do a smokey eye. He did an incredible job. I looked awesome. Then he did Emily and he looked awesome too. Got some cute things at JCrew and then we walked through the park back home. At this point, we were hungry again and it was late. We had spent a LOT of time in the mall place. We ate a yumy dinner at Willy's and then were so tired from walking all around in the sun that day that we went back to my apartment, made margaritas and watched a movie. It was the perfect end to the perfect day. :)

Sunday was a little different though equally as fun. We woke up, headed downtown to Chelsea and ate brunch at this really cute place. Very gay, but very cute. Then we walked down to the village and did some window shopping, stepped in and out of bookstores, and tried to not to die of hyperthermia b/c it was MAD hot here in the city. Emily then went home and I took a nap. Then I made dinner and relaxed in my airconditioned living room. It was brilliant.

I have so much MLW stuff to do this week. Staff Day #2 is on Saturday and the directors are like: of Draft plans are due, but then they try and be slick and then include a bulleted list of all these details that have to be included in these said "draft" plans. UH...

I love my team: GO FIFA!!!

I have to do more work. Today is busy busy busy!

Love,
Lauren

P.S I saw David Schwimmer on the street on Saturday downtown. He is a bad dressed in real life. :)

Smoking and Nasty Foods

Clarification: TaB Energy Drink is different than regular old-school TaB. However, I'm sure that TaB energy drink is probably equally as disgusting and horrid. Also, Mike noted that the Energy Drink is marketed toward women. Perhaps I'll try this at some point, to prove my point that all TaB products are heinous.

New York Smoking Laws:
So---you aren't allowed to smoke inside in bars and restaurants in New York City. This is a fantastic rule. If you go out for the night you don't have to immediately peel your dank smike-filled clothes off and toss them in the laundry. You don't even have to air them out---they smell normal, but depending on what you did that night, they may smell like dank beer. There is a problem with this rule however. Everyone is obsessed with smoking outside of buildings and in front of restaurants and bars which I walk past daily. I want to say that I love my commute. In fact, it's one of the nicer and calmer parts of the day. Except when the A/C is blowing right on me and I'm freezing the whole way there. Ok---I digress...I get off the bus and I have to walk two avenue's to work right? That's really not that far ok---but it seems like that it is everyone's special "smoking" time outside of every building I pass. I don't like the smell of smoke in the afternoon or at night, but I ESPECIALLY don't like inhaling it in the morning everyday. It is awful. My throat involuntarily closes up and nothing about my walk is "refreshing" or "calming". It is ruined by the smokers. So---Fuck you fuckers. I may be able to get "fresh" air inside now a days, but you have the rest of the world to pollute with your nasty dank ass cigarettes.

I still haven't figured out how to add pictures to this effing blog. They give you "instructions" and then I followed them and jack shit happened when the picture was supposed to appear. I think it was all a farce. A$$holes at blogger.com strike again.

So---Steve, the blogger I recently linked for you all---has a novel idea on his blog. I mentioned before I think, or if not, I'm going to repeat myself. He has this part where he eats REALLY nasty foods and then like "reviews" them. It is so barfalicious, but his commentary on the rancid foods, is HILARIOUS. I kind of want to copy his idea and do the same thing in my blog. There is one problem though----I don't like eating nasty foods. Some of the foods he eats are straight up wronchy...and I'm not sure if my stomach could handle it. I'll take comments on this idea.

I'm very excited that Emily is coming tonight. Tons of fun in the city this weekend!

I also wanted to mention that the other day when I was getting on the elevator at work---I saw a woman getting on in a sheet pink suit. Imagine this: think about having light light pink warm up pants, and then removing the lining. That is EXACTLY how this lady's suit was. The point of this story is that she wasn't wearing a thong and I could see straight through to her granny underwear. It was gross and what kind of idiot doesn't something like that?

I also wanted to say that the guy behind me in line at the Deli I often get lunch at ordered bologna on a roll. High school peeps: remember when everyday I would eat a bologna sandwich for lunch? Well, those times are over and I don't really like bologna anymore, b/c it reminds me of a cold hot dog and I don't really like cold hot dogs.

Alright, even though it's Friday I still have stuff to do. Cheers!

Love,
Lauren

Break-up and TaB

I'm very excited because my friend Emily is coming up to visit this weekend!
I'm also really excited that I'm not going down to MD. I'm honestly, sick of going back and forth. It's nice to be able to think about sleeping in and not rushing around and going to meetings all weekend. I also particularly hate leaving right from work on Friday afternoons. I like being able to leisurely go home, change, chill and then leave.

My apartment is a pig sty. No, guys, really---for me it's bad. There are clothes all over the place. REALLY all over. I have to clean up and organize before Emily comes. I wouldn't want anyone to see the state of my apartment now.

Tonight I have a conference call with my team---hopefully it'll be productive.

Last night Katie and Michael and I went and saw the Break-Up. I have a few comments about the entire movie experience:
1. I saw a preview for the World Trade Center Movie and it looks horrid. I was bawling during the PREVIEW. There is no way that I could make it out of that movie theatre alive, if I went and saw that shit. I mean, think about it...it took them like 50 years after Pearl Harbor to make a movie about that----couldn't they have waited a bit longer?
2. Jennifer Aniston is so hot. I love her.
3. Vince Vaughn is not quite as hot as her.
4. The movie was really realistic. It was almost too realistic. There were times when I was like----shit this is EXACTLY a real conversation that people have all the time in relationships. How women don't communicate their feelings properly and men are often really selfish...among other things.
5. It didn't have a happy ending, which I thought was good.

Diatribe about TaB Soda:
I just purchased my first cab of TaB soda. I was enticed by the cool retro can and the font on the front. Also that it was made by the Coca-Cola company. TaB was first put into production in 1963 as the first diet soda. I was unaware that TaB was diet. Yes, I may be stupid, but this als could be that it is an OLD soda for OLD people who are into drinking diet drinks. I have several things to say about my first experience with TaB:

1. I wish to God that someone would have told me it was diet. I would not have purchased this can.

2. I also wish that someone would dispose of every can of TaB on this planet because it is quite possibly the most disgusting soda I've ever had and that probably exists today. I think I would pick either Crystal Pepsi, Jolt and that new one Vault which I also recently tried which also hover about zero on the taste scale.

3. It takes horrific. Like... acid and medicine with a disgusting shot of cancer-inducing sacchrin and aspartame mixed into one. Yes, that's right, it not only has ONE of those disgusting sweeteners, but BOTH.

4. They must get people like me on the packaging because it's clearly not on the taste of this beverage. There should be a surgeon's general warning on the side of the can similar to that on cigarettes: "Warning: consuming the contents of this can will cause the death of your tastebuds and prevent you from enjoying life's other positive attributes. You also will likely die of cancer and experience anal bleeding due to the amount of artifical ingredients contained within."

5. No one should ever drink this. A direct quote from wikipedia says, "Tab has of late become something of a cult beverage, with heavily dedicated drinkers. This is one of the only reasons Tab is still produced; its share of the national soft drink market is minuscule." Cult beverage? Just like members of all cults---they should be exterminated. Then there would be no possible chance of no other human drinking it.

6. TaB=Totally Awful Beverage...'nuff said.

7. Things I would rather do than drink TaB soda:

• eat raisins
• chew multi-vitamins
• dye my hair black
• blow out snot rockets
• trip and fall on concrete wearing shorts
• wear a helmet to work
• read about 17-18th century Britain
• watch golf on TV
• get a hairball

Ok, enough TaB bashing, though I could go on all day. I am going to go pee and walk around the office a bit. My butt is sore from sitting.

Love,

Lauren

Subway and Refridgerator

I'm officially pissed at blogger.com. I hate them. They erased everything that I had saved from before---TWICE. I had written a PIMP entry---TWICE--- and it got erased. If this entry sucks, it's cause I'm so mad I had to write it again---I now actually have to do work too---I am so mad.

Something is wrong with the styrofoam at my office. It is sort of sticky. Whenever I hold or touch it, my hands feel sticky. Thus, I hate styrofoam. I think that styrofoam should be banned.

Here is why:

1. It's really bad for the environment. If you microwave it, which many people do, it lets off horrid gases into the ozone.
2. It makes a really awful sound when you scrape food off of it, like forks or spoons
3. The kind at MY office, is sticky and doesn't feel good to the touch.
4. We already have like 8 billion materials to make "containers" out of. No one would even blink if they just tossed all the styrofoam and replaced it with normal materials. How come it isn't banned yet? I hate styrofoam. I'm now boycotting it.

Subway Stories:

1. I saw a little girl STRAIGHT up eating her bogies on the train last night on the way down to 99 John. It was gross, but she was really cute. She kept staring at the cupcakes I had made for Michael's birthday. I wanted to give her and her brothers one, but I was saving them for dessert. And then---the whole train would have wanted some---ugh, I couldn't handle it just then.

2. I saw these two women on the subway chatting and then one, that was particularly bitchy looking pulled out this white sheet of paper with a letter on it, it looked like. I couldn't help but try and read what was on it, especially since there were words that were underlined repeatedly on it. I finally could focus my efforts a bit more---I saw that it seemed like a letter to her boyfriend/ex-boyfriend. All the underlined words were like, "fucker" and "motherfucker" and the sentences were like the same over and over something like this, "You are gonna pay mother fucker, you are such a fucker." With all the cuss-words underlined. It was so lame/hilarious. After a while of reading the same sentence over and over---I got bored. Actually what really happened was that the lady saw that I was trying to read it and gave me the death started and then then put the letter away. Luckily right as that happened, I was at Fulton St. Phew, averted disaster.

3. A sad fact...I find myself, especially on subways---checking out the ring fingers of all the cute men I see. Has it really come to this sad state? *sigh* Remember, I'm single. Please inquire within. As a side note to this---Matt Baker touched me on the shoulder yesterday when he asked me how I was doing. It was the greatest day of my life.


I need a new refridgerator. Besides the fact that it makes a loud grinding sound every once in a while...I came home last night from 99 John and went to the bathroom. I then walked back into the kitchen when I noticed a LARGE PUDDLE of water under my kitchen table? WTF! I then took my "clean-up" towel and wiped everything up and put in under the fridge so that it would soak up anything else. I'm calling my landlord today and this is how the conversation is going to go:

Me: Hi, I'm Lauren, the one from 1589?
Laura the receptionist: Oh, Hi, how are you?
Me: Well...I'm sort of in a bad position. My fridgerator still isn't fixed. Twice people have come to fix my fridge and it's still broken. Last night there was water all over my floor and it still makes that horrible grinding noise.
Laura the Receptionist: Ok, well...we'll send someone else to come fix it.
Me: No, I need a new fridge. There is clearly something with my fridge that the "people" can't fix.
Laura the Receptionist: Well---I'll call you back about what the company says about that.
Me: No, bitch, you are going to put me on hold, call them right now and get me a new fucking fridge. Right?**
Laura the Receptionist: Yes, ma'am, sorry Lauren, whatever you want. **
Me: Damn straight...**

World Cup: I hope Spain beats the eff out of Ukraine. For me, Ukraine represents Dave and things that he liked, therefore I hate Ukraine. They are currently down 3-0, so I don't think I have anything to worry about, but you know how games can get...GO ESPANA!! Ahem---4-0. :) Things are going my way today. Wait---they just won. :) WHooop!

Michael wants to change his name--for when he models. I pretty much told him I refuse to call him by his model name until he either becomes famous or he goes by the new name for as long as he's gone by Michael. I'm not going to tell you the new name because you will all be like, "Oh, I know __________. I knew him before he was ___________ and before he was famous. Simply Lauren wrote about ___________ on her blog and he's really great." Basically, you all are going to get big heads about knowing him before he was famous and then say you knew him b/c I know him. Right? Right.

What if-----those "SILICA" packets that come with shoes and other things in boxes you know? Well you know how they say "DO NOT EAT! THROW AWAY!" all over them? What if, in fact, they are the most delicious things in the world, like rock candy or something? I bet the person who invented them is like---"Ha! I've fooled everyone! I get the rock candy all to myself!"

Happy Hump Day!

Love,
Lauren

P.S I need to shout out---Julia and Maura. I promised them I would shout them out on Sat night but honestly I forgot about it in my earlier posts. You two rule and I hope we get to hang out again! Remember, there is always room in NYC for fun and sleepovers!

**Denotes a conversation that I would have in MY HEAD, not actually out loud. Real statements might include, "Thanks Laura! Have a great day!" on my part.

Interviews and Noodles

I knew that today was going to be a good day right when I woke up. I woke up seconds before my alarm went off. I finally had gotten enough rest. I think the 4am wake up yesterday really slowed me down. I left work a bit early and hurried home. I stripped, and passed out on the bed for about 40 minutes. I woke up to my doorbell. It was Jessica. She was meeting me to come up to Harlem to help interview my kids at the BGC (yeah---mike what?!?). We meandered up there---a few more volunteers came and the interviews went really well. The kids looked really nice and all cute dressed up. :) Especially Josh. He was wearing the cutest outfit.

Anyway, we went back to my house, so that I could take out my contact that had been in my mouth for about 2 hours b/c right when we left my apt, there was something in it and it was hurting so badly. I didn't have my contact case with me so I just stuck it in my mouth, attempting to talk for the rest of the evening. It actually worked out great. Then, Jess and I went to Noodles 28. I am pretty much OBSESSED with Noodles 28. The bun there is flipping amazing. I pigged out until I couldn't eat anymore and I still had a LOT left in my bowl, so I brought it for lunch. I'm totally boosted about the idea of eating it all over again for lunch today. I know that Lindsay is mad jealous of me, since she introduced me to this delicious place after the time me, her and Bethy went.

The Christmas lights on the pole in my bathroom ALL burned out last week. I had been noticing that some of the lights had burned out---but I thought that was normal since they had been on non-stop for about six months. But then, I came home from work one day and the whole string was off. I was kind of annoyed. They were a great addition to my bathroom and I always got compliments on them. Luckily, I had an extra string of them---the string that was on the Christmas tree. So---I took those out of the Christmas box and hung them up. Voila! Lights back on!

My blister from batting cages on Saturday is still hurting. For the game on Thursday, I think I need some sort of bandage or padding under my batting glove so that it doesn't KILL when I get up to the plate.

Something else I'm looking for---I need a good foot lotion that I can use daily. In the summer my feet get really dry and I need somethign to hydrate them. Suggestions are welcome, but I can also just read Glamour or Cosmo and there will be some trendy lotion available.

Something has been bothering me recently: So the movie "The Omen" came out last week. And it starts that "cute" satan child or whatever.
One thing I have to ask is...why would any parent let their kid play the spawn of Satan? Don't you think these kids are going to be scarred, what if the kids ACTUALLY thinks he's the spawn of satan? Aren't we then breeding murderers? Other questionable roles for children that I myself as a parent wouldn't even ever consider are on Law & Order SVU---like those kids that play characters who were molested or raped. Do the kids even know what those horrible things are? Why are we willing to expose child actors to things like this at the expense of people like me---who are obsessed with these type of shows? I guess that's entertainment. But I'm honestly surprised that there hasn't been a study or article written about how these freakish and horrible roles affect these kids who are supposedly "normal".

If there is anything else to report, I can't remember it. So----that's it for today.

HTD!

Love,
Lauren

Busy Weekend and Bad Luck

Well, to start off---Friday night was a complete bust. I spend the entire latter half of the day totally mad and annoyed and rushing. I hate rushing. Anyone that knows me knows that I'm not late a lot. I hate being late. MLW things don't count cause I secretly like being late to those. It makes me feel superior to those that were foolish enough to arrive early. I'm sorry ahead of time to my team if we lose any competition that requires us to be the first full team at some event. We will never be that. Combine the styles of me and Charlie for this "on-time" thing and we'll for sure lose. FIFA baby. That is our theme. Love it and I'm so excited about it. We are going to get sweat suits. Don't hate. :)

Ok---so let's talk about how Friday went down. Since I live in New York and the rest of my team lives in Maryland I'm the catalyst into which things need to be planned around. Clearly, I can't come down during the week so I have to meet on the weekends. Which is getting a bit annoying since I have to come down all the time. I was originally really excited about not coming to MD this weekend but I actually have to. BUT---I'm only coming for the afternoon. Which is no big deal. The crappy part is like wasting a whole weekend at home and stuff. But we are having a team meeting and then I'm coming back. So NYC people, I'll be around Fri/Sat night and all of Sunday if people want to do something. Possibly Beth----Lindsay----Katie? Any takers? Oh oh...speaking of Katie---

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE!!

Anyway---I digress...it's just that my weekdays and nights are full of work (duh...) and then fun night activities that take up time, so the weekends I look "forward" to b/c I can "relax". No, seriously, I'm going to have a good weekend, and I'm actually excited about my team meeting, they are much more relaxed and fun than staff days. Anyway, so Friday night we had a planned team meeting at Denny's in Annapolis. The reason we picked Denny's was b/c it was the only reasonble place that was open late---I'm aware of it's ghetto status. Charlie was going to pick me up from the metro, get Emily, get Kelsey and then we'd hang out for a while and then everyone would go home---read: Charlie would drive them home. But---all of this was based on my arrival time and stuff from the airport. I leave work early and am like booking it uptown to catch the M60 to LGA. I safely get on the bus and even get a seat (which is quite remarkable) and then figure I'll be able to make the 6pm flight instead of the 6:30 flight, making our meeting a bit earlier, which is best for all. But---as soon as I change my reservation, we get onto the Triboro bridge and there is like MAD traffic. It was the slowest I've ever gotten to the airport. I have no idea why everything was so flipping slow. So---I literally make it to security check in with like 5 minutes to spare to get my plane. * I run up to the gate and I know something is weird when there are tons of people waiting outside the gate. I look up at the little sign thingie and it says that it's leaving 22 minutes late. Well---that's not TOO bad, it's the time of my original departure, and US Air is faster than Delta, so I'll still make up more time. All is well. We get on the plane, and it is 100% jam packed. We sit at the gate for an abnormal time and then pull away. I think we are going to get in "line" for take off. Then the effing captain or whatever he is gets on and is like, "there is a lot of traffic coming in and out of NYC and we'll be a while, like probably 40 minutes."

40 minutes?! Are you kidding me? I'm not going to be at the metro until like 10---and then this meeting isn't worth it. So I have a panic attack and almost start crying about how my team is going to suffer and that I want to just get off the plane and go back home and all this stuff. But I did it inside my head. Not outloud, don't worry. But one thing I have to ask is---what the hell is going on with New York Airports? Aren't there people in charge of scheduling?!? Like, isn't that the point of different flight times. I mean, it doesn't work like---you show up, randomly get on a plane and then random planes leave and random times. No, there are supposed to be ORGANIZED schedules. That's why I really don't understand when people are like---"there is a lot of traffic". That means that people aren't following the schedules and therefore are ruining everyone elses lives. Thanks life ruiners---thanks for everything.

Ok---I call Charlie and other team members and tell them the meeting is off--- no harm done though I still feel like a complete failure becuase of this. I was also just overall annoyed becuase since the meeting was off I could have gotten away with like staying in NYC one night, and then leaving to come to MD on Saturday morning. Maybe have gone to happy hour with co-workers or something...but I'm not bitter anymore. I land. Go to metro---I had called and told mom and pop that they would be needing to pick me up at Takoma. I get up to the platform and look at that electronic sign that tells you when the next trains are coming. Ok, so both the blue and the yellow lines connect with the red line, but the yellow line cuts right to the chase, versus the stupid blue line that goes into VA and then winds all around before getting to Metro Center. Of COURSE---the yellow line is nowhere to be found on that screen and everytying was like either blue line or "no passenger" clearly not helping me at all. I got on the blue line. I sit next to these KIND-OF cute southerners who have no idea about where they are going. Normally I would have helped them, but I was in a bad mood and secretly wanted them to get lost or get off at the wrong station. Misery loves company right?? So I get to Takoma and walk to the parking lot to see my dad in the green truck. But he's not there. OK, again people----my parents are also never late. But as I was about to spaz out about it---I realized something. It's just part of my zen circle. Every piece of transportation that I took that day was delayed, slow, or horrible and broken, so----it was just the last piece of the zen circle. In fact, if he been on time, who knows what awful things would have happened to me. I came home, pigged out on some lasagna and then went to sleep. It was glorious. Oh, I was (am) still sick.

Saturday was also busy as hell. I tried to sleep in. But I woke up at 9. I ate breakfast and effed around for a while. Then my mom and I decided to walk to CVS---I had to get some stuff for my team and I wanted to take a walk. So---we did. On the way home, my mom says---"I hope you have your key" I was like, "um...no, i don't live at the house anymore, it's not my responsiblity to take the key. You don't have a key?" She said no. My dad was up in Baltimore at choir practice so no one was home. We were locked out until he got home at 1, which was a few hours away. I was totally annoyed. At least it was nice out. We get home and check out all the doors to maybe see if one was left unlocked. Nope. Then my mom has a brilliant plan---"I'll just go in through the crawlspace, into the basement and then upstairs to unlock the door!" She was so excited about her innovative idea.

There were a few problems with this plan:

1. the crawlspace is disgusting and dirty and who knows that the eff is down there.
2. the crawlspace is boarded up with nails and wood and stuff
3. problem #1 is actually not a real one since it wasn't ME that was going in, it was my mom

We pryed the board off with a shovel and then my mom crawled in and saved the day. Thanks mom! Once my dad came home---my mom and I set out for our slew of errands...but first to the batting cages.

I drove up to Rocky Gorge and batted a lot. I did well I think. Though---I got the most nasty blister halfway through and then my batting started to suck. I made my mom hit some rounds b/c my hand hurt to badly. It sucked. But it was good time and I'm glad I got a chance to practice. Then we drove to Giant and got a buttload of food for the MLW BBQ---that took a while. Then we came home, prepared for it, cleaned and stuff. I was mad tired, but there was too much to do to take a nap. I was going over to the Druhans for Julia's graduation party.

The party was so nice and chill. Fun people were there and I had a good time. Leah and CK eventually showed up but then I was mad tired and went home to sleep. It was like a fun little Blair reunion. Jeff bought a condo and moved in with Leslie and I thought that was cool. Biggs and Jason were there and duh Alexi and Jim. Also---fun-friend Stephanie and Justin too.

I came home, did a really bad parking job and then passed out.

I think that when you live close to a place you need to be, you end up being late because you don't give yourself enough time to get there and then you are late. That's what happened to me. Though I wasn't that late----staff day was fun. Again, I love my team.

BBQ went really well. Lots of good food and food fun. :)

I had to wake up at the butt crack of dawn this morning to take a flight back to NYC to get to work on time. I wasn't even that late. I took the 6am shuttle back and pretty much now I'm exhausted. I don't know how I'm going to survive the rest of the night----I have BCG and then hanging out with Jess. Which is going to be fun, but I have to get to be RELATIVELY early or I might die.

I think this is long enough, I rambled a ton.

Happy Monday!

Love,

Lauren

*I'm going to act like I was all calm on the bus and not worried about missing my flight but what I was really doing was cursing under my breath and frantically looking at my watch and making like huffing sounds every two seconds indicating frustration.

Cancelled and Poop

Drumroll...

Our softball game was cancelled because it was raining all day on Wednesday and the field was soaking wet and muddy, and it was raining a fairly hard yesterday. So---I think it's postponed until next Thursday. But, some of out best players aren't going to be there next week. I was totally bummed out about it. Also because I had carried my big ass bag into work and then had to take it back home again. Such a blower.

I am sick of being sick. God---if I have to blow my nose ONE MORE FUCKING TIME...
which I inevitably will. It's so gross, nasty and green and thick. (don't you just love the descriptive words I'm using) I think I might have some sort of sinus infection.

I think it's time for another list. I was reviewing old entries I think recently, there haven't been as much. So----here it goesm I'm going to start off pretty mundane, but maybe later on i'll get more exciting with my lists.

My to-do list for this weekend:

• do laundry
• go food shopping for BBQ at my house on Sunday
• go to Julia's keg party on Saturday night
• go to the batting cages
• try and get a tan at the pool for part of Saturday
• watch some world cup games with the IC (minus douchebag Dave) on Saturday at some point
• have a team meeting tonight
• go out tonight (thought my body is giving me the finger as I write this)
• Staff Day #2
• get mom a bday present/card
• get Michael a bday card
• clean up BBQ
• make cupcakes and everything else for BBQ
• relax

Today generally sucks. Someone email me something cool.

Love,

Lauren

Jersey's and World Cup

Yesterday I spent a good two hours of my work day engrossed with the idea of creating uniforms for our softball team. Of course no one took initiative to get them done before the first game so I had to fill the place. Me and my co-worker Bernadette (who is TOTALLY my girl) were up to the task after we received the following email from my other friend Tim, who is also on the team:

"Our uniform consists of a white tee shirt that says on the front "(Name of my Company) Softball - 2006" in white lettering. There's also a picture of two polar bears eating marshmallows on it."

So you can see---our uniform sucked until I took over. I immediately did a quick google search on t-shirt printing places in New York City and found a really good one that was cheap. :) I found on there that they also made baseball shirts. Our company's "colors" are forest green and white, so we decided that the shirts would have the forest green 3/4 length sleeves and then white on the rest. Then on the front, in the handwriting like the Dodgers logo but with our company name instead. Also in the little tail that underlines the name of my company, we are going to write "PIM" which is the division we all work in. It looks so BANGIN'! I also got a free shirt out of it. The Captain, who is also mad cool, said since I did all the work, I can get a free shirt and that he would pay for it. Whooop. Who's your daddy?!

Can't wait for the Copa Mundial to start! Charlie has given me the bug. Hopefully a bunch of us will be at Summers watching the games on Saturday! I wanted to go to the pool and get a tan, but if the weather down in MD is anything like it is up here then, there is no goddamn way I'm getting a tan.

Sickness update: I went to bed early last night after watching "Fight Club" which every time I watch it, realize how fucked up that movie is. But the scenes when Brad Pitt is like half naked and fighting in that basement bar place are fine by me. I digress...Currently, one of my nostrils is completely blocked with snot---I can only breathe out of my right nostril. Hopefully a few hours with me sitting upright will clear the blockage and I'll be able to breathe like a normal person. I just blew my nose, and there was so much mucus that I had to stop. I was getting embarrassed by how long I was taking. God! IT's totally annoying!

I hope everyone has a glorious day!

Love,
Lauren

P.S. I have BBDs "Poison" stuck in my head. Thanks to YOU Charlie!

Shout-Outs
Derwood---you are the bomb. My blog is famous in multiple states. You are so great in leaving comments and thanks for all your nice words. I'm going to kick ass in softball today provided it's not rained out.
Ron D: thanks for making my phone bill so high from all those damn text message you send mt all the effing time. I went over my "limit" and now had to pay a butt load more than I normally do.
MC: I miss you. What's going on? How is your team?
Sagar: Hello---please communicate with me.
Beth and China: Have a safe flight to Vegas!
Alex: got your missed call last night---i'll be there on Sat! Tell Julia. :)

Purell and Sicky

Was out from work yesterday due to illness. Sorry for my lack of posts.

Also because of this, there is nothing exciting to report. I think I had my first burnout of the summer. A sad case seeing that there have been only two MLW weekends so far. The work has just begun.

My boss just told me that if I blow my nose I have to use that Purell shit to sanitize my hands before I hand anyone a paper or anything. He told me that if I was in his house, that I would have to be quarantined. WTF?! I hate the smell of Purell, it is nasty.

Softball game tomorrow---who's excited?! Me!!!

Anyway, today's post is lame and I'm sorry it's because nothing exciting happened to me between Monday evening and right now. That's what happens when you are sick right?

Yum...I'm drinking OJ. Does a body good. :)

xo,
Lauren

MLW and Sick

So this weekend was staff training weekend. It didn't start off that well for me. I left work around the time I normally do when I need to get to Penn station to catch a train to B'more. Erica was picking me up at the station and then we were going to drive over to McDaniel together, being fashionably late to the training weekend. Oh, it was POURING when I went outside to get on the E over to the west side. I noticed all these people standing outside the station and thought they were just trying to get out of the rain, but really the E and V trains were flooded and not running. Time was ticking away and I NEEDED to catch that train! I ran over to DR to get some cab money and then I hopped in one of those lincoln town car cabs with this other business guy to hitch a ride over to Penn station, he zipped through traffic with amazing celerity and I actually made it to the train station in time. But all of that rushing was in vain becuase lightening had struck some tower or station on the Amtrak line and all the trains were delayed. Mine finally got off an hour late. I felt so bad for Erica, but it ended up working out just fine. It was on the train when I started to feel sick and that my throat was getting sore and my nost stuffed up. When we finally got to the college---it was time for hall meetings and I was debbie downer and sick. Of course I stayed for Sanity though and we had a grand old time.

Saturday I woke up and it was still really sick so after "eating" breakfast, going to morning sing and diversity, I took a nap until the staff meeting. I'm really excited about my team. :) I can't believe I'm on the same team as Charlie. :) I'm boosted about that. Sanity on Saturday night was great and the class that Mike and I taught to the new staff went really well, so I was happy about that. Other than getting numerous phone calls from Ron and Charlie dinking 80s rap into the phone, I slept pretty well even though I was still sick. Sunday at McDaniel came and went and then Charlie drove me home. I passed out in the car with ease. He dropped me off at the pool and so I saw Stephanie and Alp for a minute. Then i went back to my parents house, did laundry, took a killer nap, ate dinner and then we headed off to the airport. My plane was "on-time" but really they meant, let's sit on the tarmac for an hour because there is "too much air traffic going into NY." So that was annoying. But I came home, organized my things and passed out.

I was still feeling sick this morning---I was really tired. Really tired. I know my body is telling me I need sleep although my schedule really doesn't permit a lot of sleep. Tonight I have boys and girls club, tomorrow i'm going to the batting cages and doing MLW stuff, and then Wednesday I have a happy hour date with my friend Kate and then on Thursday I have my first softball game with post-game dinner and drinks. How am I supposed to go to bed early!

Any NY people want to go to the batting cages with me tomorrow?!? I don't want to go alone, nor will I so----Katie, how about you?

I mean, a lot of fun things happened this weekend, but MLW stuff is hard to explain to the ignorant. And---I'm not awake enough to even try. I'm excited for a crazy busy summer.

I hope I kick this sick thing soon, it's dragging me down you know?!

MLW folk, don't forget to RSVP to the BBQ on Sunday.

Love,
Lauren

Comments and Hell

First things first. I just finished reading my slew of blogs as part of my morning routine right? I have come to realize that the people that put comments on the superficial.com are complete neandertals. The picture on the superficial is of a date that Jake Gyllenhall went on with Natalie Portman (see link for more details). Here are some examples of the DUMB ass comments people make after these things:

"Doesn't she realize that he's using her until his next Thailand trip when he can score some 10 year boy love. Shouldn't that NAMBLA card in his wallet be a dead giveaway Natalie?
There's only one reason a guy's into smurf. It's until he can satisfy his pedophile boy loving ways without getting caught."

-Jake isn't gay. Just b/c he was in Brokeback doesn't mean he's gay. Get some intelligence and then write a fucking post. And that person has a sick mind anyway b/c NAMBLA is a sick sick organization.

The following is an example of how the "commenters" poke fun and hate on each other. If there was such thing as a massive eff you and you are a complete tool message---i would have posted said message. Just read the posting, chuckle and then tell you friends about it. Don't rant and rave at each other. It is just so trivial and lame. (Isn't it funny how I'm ranting and raving right now?!? Yet, it's on my own personal blog so it's ok)

"methinks you people are driving me fucking crazy with this methinks shit. methinks me may spew chunks if me hears it one more time"

response comment...

"Methinks, methinks, methinks......LOL...if you threw up, now your like an anorexic lame-whipper-banana-willow fag............."

Hmmm...that's really polite and appropriate for a comment regarding JG and NP right? No---damn imbecils! If you aren't going to leave a funny comment, then don't waste my time with this shit.
---------------------------
Well then, on with the post. I'm extremely starving and I am planning what to eat for breakfast. I think I'm actually going to purchase breakfast myself downstairs in the cafeteria. It's going to be amazing.*** I can't wait to pick from the plethora of unhealthy options down there. It's so disgusting outside. It was hard-core thunderstorming last night and like the idiot I am----left my windows open.

Last night I was having a dream about satan's hellfire. Then I woke up and realized that in fact I wasn't dreaming about satan's hellfire at all but got confused because I FELT like I was in satan's hellfire in my hot as shit room. I woke up at like 4am chugged my entire freezing cold brita, grabbed my fan, searched for an extension cord, plugged it in, and then put it my window. When I woke up in the morning, it was only like as hot as the 4th ring of Dante's inferno instead of the core like before. I NEED to get an A/C.

After work I headed up to Harlem to be the interviewer in some mock interviews that some of the kids from the Children's Aid Society (which is partnered with the BCG) and is the organization where I do all my stuff, it's just a lot easier to write BCG. So---we asked tons of questions, looked over resumes and then gave advice about interviewing and stuff like that. I was there for a while, like three hours. The whole time I could hear the thunder and the whole building would shake. It was pouring outside. I had a hard time concentrating during the strom b/c all I could think about was how I left all my window's open and what my apt. would look like when I got back. It turns out that the curtains were only a LITTLE bit soaking and that one of my picture frames was ruined, but not the picture within.

Today is a good day because I'm wearing a cute outfit. Also because it's Friday and I get to see my MLW friends this weekend and eat cookie dough. One bad thing about today is that later I have to take a 3 hour train to Baltimore. I don't like taking the train for more than 2.2 hours. If it gets longer than that---I get all antsy and annoyed. I hope I didn't forget anything. :)

I have to get back to doing MLW stuff during my normal workday. Keep it real.

Love,
Lauren

***I got some fruit for breakfast in case any of you were wondering.

Thursday Extra Post: Stupid People

So---I just finished reading an article in the Washington Post about a bunch of check scams, where people were getting scammed out of their money. At first, I was like, "wow, that sucks for them." But then I continued to read the article. I've come to realize that the people who got involved with these scams were inthemselves, stupid. This one lady got a "job" as an international money courier (yeah, that doesn't sound sketchy) and she was supposed to get checks in the mail made out to this "organization" that helped "rebuild homes in destitute areas" and then deposit them into her OWN bank and then wire money out the next day to random countries like Nigeria, Canada and Ukraine. Keep in mind that this woman thought she had gotten a great deal b/c she was "getting" 7% of each check she gets. This lady is so stupid. Hello, a random company asking you to deposit random checks into your own account and then wire them as fast as possible to random 3rd world countries? She deserves to be scammed.

People are so stupid. I think it is smart for the scammers to prey on all the dumbasses. Like, how could a red flag NOT gone up for this lady?

To read more about this stupid woman and others like her, click HERE.

Cheers!
Lauren

Indochine and Broken Promises

Good morning,

I first want to apologize to Derryck for not giving him a shout out. I was supposed to give him a shout out yesterday, but I forgot. He claims I lied about it, but the reality is, that it totally slipped my mind.

For Derwood and all who are curious about my opinions on DVC:
I liked the Da Vinci Code. I thought that there were aspects that were really well done. But I have to say, I was interested in a person's reaction that HADn't seen the movie, such as yourself. The book, since you didn't read it, was written like a movie. I even remember as I was reading it, thinking about who was going to play Robert Langdon and how the movie would be done. As with most book gone films---they had to cut stuff out. I think they made good choices about what to cut out, though there were times where I was confused. In the book (which you should read) there is a second cryptex and also more romance b/t Sophie and Robert (which I'm def glad they took out of the movie).

What I really liked about the movie: Ok, so in the book when you find out that Leigh Teibing or whatever his name is is "bad". It's horrifying. I mean, he's much more of a bad guy and evil in the book. In the movie he was bad and you know, we was going to shoot robert and sophie and everything to get the cryptex, but he still had a reverence for Robert because he knew that he would ultimately finish the quest of finding the grail. Also----the "crooked" cop was good in the movie b/c you didn't get the idea that he was REALLY bad, unlike the book, and then he ultimately turns out to be good. So---he was a nice auxillary character. Also, Arringarosa was way more complex in the book I though. But that scary actor (I forget his name, the one from the spiderman movies) was a good choice for him. Anyway----those are my two cents.

Softball is getting underway. We have practice next week---should be interesting. I'm so boosted though. And I know that you are all tired of hearing about how excited I am about playing. But too bad. You choose to read this blog voluntarily.

Last night the girls decided to get together and surprise Katie for her birthday at this restaurant downtown---east villageish--called Indochine. It was really good and Katie was TOTALLY 100% surprised. It was a ton of fun. That's pretty much all I had to say about that. I had these really good "ravioli" that were more like dumplings with deliciousness inside them. I also had some like roasted banana for dessert with Beth and LB that scrumptious. Let's see-----tonight i'm going up to Harlem to volunteer at the BGC for a bit. Helping out with job interview prep, but for a different program than the one I run. It's at a different center up there. I also have to pack for another visit to MD for MLW.

I have to say, traveling every effing weekend is going to get old real fast. I might retire from MLW one summer so that I can actually have free weekends. I can't remember summer with free weekends. Maybe when I was a toddler.

Holla back!
Love,

Lauren

P.S Check this link out for DISGUSTING recipes! I can't believe the people from weight watchers actually thought people would like these!
http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html