Car Accident and MLW

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNABELLE!!!! I Miss and Love you!!!

This entry is long overdue. I've been wondering when I'd have the energy to muster up a good entry after everything that has happened. The past week/week and a half have provided me with an opportunity to self-reflect and sort of get everything back on track. Let's start out with right before MLW----

So, I was stressing out to the max everyday practically. I would wake up with stomach pains about how much I had to do for MLW and just generally freak out. I had no time to do anything except MLW things and also get ready for Carolyn's wedding. It was Thursday afternoon, on the 20th. I was running all over Manhattan and Queens trying to get materials for camp and still get to bed by a reasonable hour. Of course, the reasonable hour thing did not go as planned. I stayed up late and spray painted shirts for the rest of my FIFA team. I ended up going to bed around 3. My original plan was to then wake up and get to work early, print out all the remaining stuff for Mix and group and then around 10, leave, pick up the rental car, swing over to the west side and see Beth and then drive to DC---to get ready for MLW and then pick up my parent's truck to drive on-site. I sleep through my alarm and wake up at 9:30---half an hour before I wanted to leave work. Needless to say, I call in, say that I'm NOT coming in and then manage to stop freaking out enough to pack up the rest of my stuff and go get the rental car. Because I'm a total idiot, I go to the WRONG rental car company and am there for like 25 minutes convincing them I have a reservation. I'm such a tool. Then I basically RUN 15 blocks to the correct rental car place and pick up the right car. Finally, I am in the car and on my way to pick up Beth. I have to say that the 4 hour drive down to Silver Spring was the highlight of my day. You will continue to see why as I go on.

I drive to Beth's mom's house---we pick up her Explorer, only to also find that there is a HUGE bees nest in the door of her car, forcing me to sit in the back like a passenger in a cab. Then, we drop off the car at the rental place and Beth drives me home. I immediately throw in a laundry and start the whole packing process. Nothing is in my parents house that I need. My little shower caddy is MIA, my sheets I always bring to camp, everything. It totally sucks! I then had to figure out how I was going to get all the crap copied that I needed to all while trying to get to Westminster by 8pm for the "mandatory meeting". After a few hours of me trying to get everything accomplished, I realized that the 8pm ETA was not happening. So I essentially gave up on it. I drove over to Kinkos in Silver Spring and started working on the mix plans that I had to print out. We still have other information left and I needed to finalize the player profiles. But, when I went to print out the things I needed to----the printers were down. ALL THE PRINTERS WERE DOWN IN THE ENTIRE KINKOS. Are you serious? Why is my luck so bad?! So at that point I had a breakdown. I called Jose and started to cry. In the traditional Lauren freak out mode. I told him I wanted to quit. He said that I shouldn't and so then I stopped crying and went back home. He also said that there was a Kinko's in Germantown that I could do to that was on the way to site. I decided to adopt his plan. I packed up the truck, and was off. It was an easy drive to 270 to the Kinkos. I was extra proud of myself b/c I didn't even really need directions, I sort of found it on my own. A rarity on my part. I was in Kinko's for about 20 minutes and dropped 50 bucks there before I decided that it was time for me to be on my way. I pulled into a gas station and found the road that would take me to the college----27 North, right through Damascus. It seemed like a straight shot and that I would actually be at the college shortly. I was excited to get there and see everyone. It was about 9:45 when the accident happened. It sort of came out of nowhere---as most of them do. I was driving along on the road. The car speakers had just blown out like a month ago. It was totally annoying but I was actually at peace trying to calm myself down on the road. Then all of a sudden, I notice that one of the cars in the lane next to me is like REALLY close to being in my lane. But for a second I thought I was just over reacting and that it was no big deal. I often think that cars are closer than they actually are---especially at night. But, it turns out that my intuition was right b/c right at that moment---this car came swerving right into my lane, head on about to hit me. With my quick reflexes, I swerved out of the way only causing him to hit the left side of the front, breaking my wheel and axel and thus causing me to lose control of the car.

I flew across the other side of the road and hit an embankment of grass which stopped my momentum. I was glad to have slammed into something finally. I got out of the car and immediately, this wonderful woman came rushing out to see if I was ok. The police and ambulance were there within minutes. They all took care of me. My face was bleeding and I felt all banged up. My arm was scraped and bruised. My face and arms and back hurt the most. Jose and Charlie came to pick me up. They were lifesavers. Especially Jose, who stayed with me the entire night at the hospital. He is an incredible friend and I love him very much. I had to get a tetanus shot, which ended up hurting more than any part of the car accident in the following days. I think it was b/c I got all cut up from the glass that shattered from the rear view mirror into the car. It sucked. But, I'm alive and very thankful for my second chance at life. Haha.

So the car accident, has caused a lot of life reflection and stuff. It's been weird but cool. I'm glad I have the people I have in my life and my family and everything. I'm also really thankful for all the experiences I've had that have shaped me into who I've become.

The accident caused me to miss Carolyn's wedding---which totally SUCKED!!! I had been looking forward to it all summer. I'm sorry again Carolyn. I blame the asshole that hit me and ruined my truck.

Annie----
Many people think that Annie is a really cute name. I mean, when I first saw her name on my delegate list, I was pretty sure she was going to be cute and awesome. Cute and awesome were the last two words I would use to describe Annie. Actually, maybe sane and literate would be the last two words I'd use, but still, you get my point. I knew that something was wrong with her on the very first day. We were playing a get to know name game. A game where one delegate would say someones name, kick a soccerball to them and then then everyone would do the same. it required no talking except for the name of the person you were kicking it to. Plus, everyone had a name tag (button) on. Annie, just like pointed and then kicked the ball. It was totally weird. Then, I noticed that she didn't talk at all. Yeah, at ALL. Our team started to think she was mute. Then right before the "What is Leadership?" slideshow I went down to the office and pulled her file. It said that she was severly learning disabled. It also said that she might need a scribe sometimes. She was also taking Zoloft. Wow----what a combination of things. I decided to call her mom and ask what sorts of things we needed to do to make sure that Annie got the most out of camp. For all of you that read this blog that AREN'T from MLW---you should know that we pride oursleves on teaching in alternative ways and that not everything is read or written. However, there is a significant amount of things that are in the guidebook that delegates need to read. Most importantly, the schedule. The mom said that she reads at a third grade level AT BEST and pretty much can't write b/c she's dyslexic and gets everything confused. My team started to think about how everything was going to affect Annie.

She really seemed to be enjoying herself on Monday----engaged in classes and participating. She wasn't talking, but she was smiling and having fun. On Monday, Annie approached Kelsey and asked her if she knew "Johnny". Kelsey said no, that she didn't know Johnny. But Annie then went on to say that she knows they know each other b/c Kelsey was huggin Johnny in Walmart. Johnny Ward with a black mohawk. That totally freaked out Kelsey. Annie also asked Emily if she remembered Johnny from soccer camp. Emily actually was trying hard to remember any Johnny she ever went to camp with. Annie now is mute and has a made up freaky imaginary friend.

Annie also gets lost a lot. She couldn't go anywhere by herself. She would get confused and disoriented and have no idea where she was going. Someone had to walk her everywhere. SHe would lie about having taken her medicine. Then two seconds later, like re-tract the lie when I caught her in the lie.

On Monday night during our team meeting. Everyone kept hearing screaming coming from upstairs. I immediately run up to the bathroom on the 2nd floor, where my girls are sleeping. I hear the most disturbing types of screams that you will ever remember. It was Annie, hysterically screaming and wailing. Like someone had just died in her family. I managed to coax her out of the stall and into my room so that she would stop that incessant screaming.

I got her to start breathing deeply and to stop crying. She kept repeating that her arm and back hurt. I took her downstairs and gave her some motrin or something hoping that it would feel better. Then she sort of looked like she could pass out at any moment, I took her back upstairs, gave her a flavo and then like----prayed that she could sleep. She didn't. She kept whining and everything about hurting and everything. It was horrible. I had no idea what to do. I kept making up stories about times I went to Mexico and ate ice cream and how fun it was. All lies. Total lies, just to get her to sleep. Then, I asked her if she wanted to go downstairs to call her mom. I mean, she should totally know about all of this. BTW---it was appx. 2am. We went downstairs and called her mom, Annie didn't want to talk to her mom at first, but it appeared that her mom was asking her all kinds of questions about where she hurt and then subsequently wanted her to go to the ER. Guess who had to go to the hospital with her? You guessed it! Me!!!! Into the ambulance I went, with psycho Annie. The minute she found out she was going to the hospital she seemed really happy and elated. It weirded me out and I knew that something was wrong. I came out into Whiteford lobby and was like---"Jaxx, I think she's lying. Something's not right". That didn't get me out of going to the hospital with her though. So---we get there, Annie is fooling around on the gurney and being overall annoying. I hated her at this point. She wasn't talking just like messing around. She refused to answer a lot of the doctors questions until I mandated and yelled at her until she did. Then, here is the kicker. He's asking her where it hurts and like legitimately checking her out to see what is wrong. Then he touches her face and asks if it hurts there. At this point, she takes her two index fingers and starts digging them into her like cheeks/temples really hard. Then she says, "yes, it hurts." The doctor looks at her and then slowly pulls her hands away from her face, and re-asks her the question. Then, he sort of gives her a little smile and asks, "Annie, is this a game to you?" and she says, "Yes." and nods her head.

At that moment. I wanted to punch her in the face. And, don't get me wrong people, I don't often have the urge to hurt kids. But I did at that moment. The doctor immediatly ordered her discharge and I was so happy. Right before the doctor came in to check on her, I told Annie that her mom was going to pick her up the next morning and that she wouldn't be staying at camp anymore. She got all agitated and then sort of half-yelled, "I don't want to go. Why do I have to do?!" I calmly explained that it was because she was sick and needed to go home.

After Jackie signed the paper, Annie had the nerve to ask whether she was getting an xray. Are you effing serious?!

The rest of MLW was sort of blur. There were hard moments, when I just wanted to be home in bed. The exhaustion was indescribable. The delegates were great, but my team was having some communication issues that really continued to stress me out. I tried to put all my personal emotion aside while I was with the kids b/c I didn't think it was fair for them to have to deal with it. I also did this somewhat with my team, not allowing my sadness/fear project onto them. Whether this was a good idea or not, is still questionable. I ended up having nice closure to the week and I feel happy about how things progressed. It was a good but tough experience for me to have.

On Saturday night, my mom and dad came and picked me up from McDaniel. We had dinner at Baughers and then, for the entire car ride home to Silver Spring, I was sleeping and passed out. I then, woke up, changed into PJs and then slept until Sunday at 1pm when I woke up, ate a sandwich and then fell asleep again until 4pm. Pretty much just in time for me to pack up and hop on a flight back to NYC.

So---I'm back at work, in a daze a bit. Still depressed about MLW being over, thinking about my life and also, thinking about how exhausted I am. I'm wondering about my future role in this organization and to what capacity of things I can actually handle next summer.

I'll be back on track with this blog soon enough. I'm not sleeping well at night at all. I toss and turn and have bad dreams. It's quite frustrating. I can't wait for a good nights sleep. Maybe it'll be tonight.

Happy Tuesday!

Love,

Lauren

Final Thoughts: COMB YOUR BEARD!!!

UPDATES:

1. the girl I hate at work that always wears polo dresses got fired

2. four delegates have emailed me since camp ended. I love them.